10 FEBRUARY 2024 – CARY MACARTHUR
Have you ever heard a parent express the sentiment, “I wish my child came with an instruction manual”? It’s a common refrain, acknowledging the complexity of human nature and the lack of a definitive guide on how to navigate it. While there may not be a literal manual for each individual, Dr. Slade’s research gives us a profound understanding that can serve as a valuable outline —we call it C.O.R.E.
What is It?
When I met Dr. Slade back in 2014, I was at a pivotal crossroads in my life. I found myself stuck between who I once thought I was and not knowing who I am at all.
I’m pretty sure Dr Slade recognized my temperament from our very first conversation—and he proposed the idea that I might be a C, but allowed me the opportunity to decide for myself. I had “learned” from experience using lots of words to describe any and all thoughts that were always on my mind seemed like they were annoying and challenging for others to deal with at times. All I knew is that I did NOT want to be a C . However, as he delved into what it meant to be a C, I couldn’t deny that he painted a picture of me more accurately than I could describe myself.
The more I delved into understanding myself and others around me through a C.O.R.E. lens, my world began to open up. I won’t claim to be a perfect, healthy C every day, or that I always embrace the full value of what that means. There are many days that I get frustrated with my sensitivity and my need for depth and comfort and allllll the things.
I want to share an experience I recently had that has really helped deepen my understanding of the truly unique value of my C-ness.
And I share this because I realize that individuals of all personalities struggle at times to embrace the challenges of their C.O.R.E. However, because of their sensitivity and deep need to feel seen and understood, Cs, in particular, seem to face an extra challenge in recognizing and appreciating the distinct value they bring to their lives and relationships.
“What would humanity be like if we didn’t have Cs?. Cs bring a sensitivity and softness —IF they’re willing to bring it. “
-Dr. Denim Slade
Why Does it Matter?
Even armed with all the knowledge and passion I have about C.O.R.E. and know deep down that it has positively impacted my confidence and happiness, I still have moments of self-doubt.
There have been many moments when I have felt that the unique contributions that Cs make weren’t necessarily that unique. After all, everyone can be nice and care deeply about others. At times, I have almost convinced myself that If you were to lay all of the strengths of all the types out on a table and allow people to choose what they wanted, people would be fighting for the strengths of all the other types, while C strengths would be left on the table,
In a particularly difficult time in my life when I felt undervalued, I attempted to suppress my
C-ness and adopt a different persona. Even though I knew it was impossible
and that it couldn’t be done—I decided to hide all of C-ness and do everything I could to act like an R. (It didn’t work…in case you are wondering… )
I can’t deny that after several weeks of trying to behave in this
way that even I could feel the loss of ME In that environment and in my life.
And I didn’t like the way it felt.
So…I gave in and brought ME back. realizing that denying my C-ness was detrimental to both my environment and personal well-being.
I share this experience because, as a C, my journey into coaching and pursuing a marriage and family therapy degree was driven by a profound care for people who struggle with their own sense of self-worth.
While it may seem ironic, the empathy I feel for those facing self-discovery challenge. It breaks my heart to witness someone struggle with who they are, and this pushes me to advocate for the importance of C.O.R.E., in conjunction with the other Healthy+Happy principles.
What Comes Next?
Working with individuals using C.O.R.E. has been and continuers to be a rewarding experience. Witnessing people embrace their strengths and navigate the challenges inherent in their temperaments has been both fulfilling and heart-wrenching. The desire to help others accept themselves fuels my personal mission to spread the message of whole Healthy and Happiness to as many people as possible.
In conclusion, the unwritten manual we yearn for may not exist in a tangible form, but understanding the principles of C.O.R.E. provides a profound guide to self-discovery. Embracing our unique temperaments, appreciating our strengths, and navigating the challenges they present can lead to a more fulfilling and authentic life. As a passionate advocate for C.O.R.E., my mission is to share this transformative knowledge and empower individuals on their journey towards self-acceptance.
-RESOURCES-
If there was one resource I could share with you, it would be the C.O.R.E. Healthy+Happy Online Community.
For over 30 years of dedicated education and clinical experience, Dr. Denim Slade has been transforming lives (mine included) and relationships. And now you can gain exclusive access to a selection of his finest tools and content!
Check out this incredible, life-changing resource!
https://you.drdenimslade.com/join-the-core-community