26 JUNE 2024 – MIKAYLA UZELAC
I have always dreamed of finding “the one” and what that would be like. I pictured this electric, almost tangible moment when I met this mystery person and we would just click. With C being my primary temperament type, I’ve always yearned to feel understood, connected, and comfortable, especially in romantic relationships. Surely my ideal partner would perfectly understand the way my brain operates and would adhere to the same “rulebook” that I do… right? At least that was my perspective before meeting my husband and discovering Dr. Slade’s C.O.R.E. temperament model.
The Reality of the Fairytale
From the moment I met my husband, we have had a genuine friendship. I felt comfortable, safe, and loved, even when difficult discussions were being had. I felt like I had a true teammate. This dynamic was so vastly different from other relationships that I had experienced beforehand and I knew our connection was special. Our foundation was solid.
Like with any relationship exciting its honeymoon stages, healthy disagreements inevitably arose. The logistics of figuring out how to mesh two lives can cause contention in even the most solid relationships. Little quirks began to make their way to the surface and I couldn’t help but have thoughts like, “Why did you make that decision?”, “Why is that so important to you?” “Why don’t we process things the same way?” and most importantly, “Are all of those things going to be a problem in the future?” We both thoroughly enjoyed the way we were living our individual lives. We each have an extremely high level of E in our temperament, so we naturally thought we were doing things “the right way”. If my way was right, surely he must be wrong. The million-dollar question at our house was, “So who has to sacrifice?”
We are each gifted in a unique and important way. It is our privilege and our adventure to discover our own special light.
-Mary Dunbar
Understanding Yourself & Your Partner
Understanding the C.O.R.E. Temperament Model developed by Dr. Slade has taught us that having opinions or processes that differ from one another is actually a strength in our relationship. No two people are the same. Neither of us is right or wrong, we’re just different and that’s okay.
I am a C/E and my husband is an E/R. Our E commonality allows us to relate to one another through our natural dedication to perfecting situations around us. We’re always looking for ways to improve our relationship. Anyone who has been in a relationship knows that they aren’t always easy, but together we have the tenacity to attack the problems ahead of us instead of targeting that energy towards each other.
Our differences have also proved that our strengths complement the weaknesses of the other. Where the R tends to have difficulty recognizing and understanding their feelings, the C delights in helping them translate their thoughts. When both the C and the E parts of my temperament leave me feeling deflated as roadblocks arise, his E/R personality ensures that we finish the job and we do it well.
Why Does it Matter?
Understanding the C.O.R.E. of who I am has instilled confidence in the unique skill set I bring to my relationship. Not only has it allowed me to better capitalize on my strengths, but has helped me pick a partner who complements my weaknesses. Join the C.O.R.E. Healthy+Happy Community to learn more about your temperament type and gain access to additional tools that will help you build a healthy relationship.
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