29 JANUARY 2024 – CAMILLE KENITZER
One of the first steps to having healthy, fulfilling , happy relationships, is something we call Resource Mangement. This is a grown up way of saying, “healthy habits that help you feel better, so you can do better!” This is the secret to be able to meet the demands and stressors of life. Being consistent in balancing your resources and drains is a simple but VITAL step to being emotionally and physically healthy.
Finding Balance
When people reach out and come to us for coaching, usually there’s a pain point that’s brought them in to seek help. Pain motivates change, and we are in the business of changing peoples lives! Most, if not all of us have experienced that pain. This can mean something in their life is in some dysfunction and its taking a toll on their emotional and sometimes physical well-being. We’ve seen it many times AND also know what its like to vulnerably seek guidance and help. ( If you’re reading this, high five to us for being change makers!)
Balance is not something you find, it’s something you create.
-Jana Kingsford
How To Balance It ALL
In life, to not let storms( big or small) , knock you down, you have to balance those drains with things that fill you up and add energy and vitality to your life. We call these “ fillers” – anything that leaves you better off for having done it, and adds positive energy to your life. When you’re in the midst of the storm, usually the last thing you want is to put one more thing on the “to do” list to accomplish. Sometimes the acts MOST powerful in our lives are also the most simple.
One of the really awesome things I’ve learned from Dr. Slade, is that we have to do the things that make us feel the way we want to feel. We cannot wait to “feel” the feeling first before taking action. Our actions can’t solely be dependent on our motivation, because waiting for motivation can be unsteady ground. Complete the action first….then feel all the good feels.
Why Is This SO Important?
Listen real close for a sec……
When you are in the dumps, or as Dr. Slade calls it, “ suckin mud” like reeeeaaallly sucking mud, we tend to only rise to the level that our brain is programmed to do. That’s the time where stepping outside of your “ comfort circle” is really difficult. Forming new habits during stressful periods in our lives is difficult, It can be done but it’s hard. This varies depending on your C.O.R.E. temperament of course, but most people let go of filling their personal reservoir when times get tough…. UNLESS it’s a well established habit. This is why this is one of the first things we work on with our clients. Our goal is to help you add in resources ( tailored to you- fillers) , help you stay consistent, ( by holding you accountable) and help decipher which drains are solvable and unsolvable.
A well established habit requires less brain power to accomplish, especially when you’re suckin mud.
To stack the odds in your favor of accomplishing your goals , do this first…
1. Write down 10 fillers that fill your personal reservoir. If you have a hard time coming up with 10, think back to your childhood and remember what brought you joy.
2. From those 10, accomplish 3 per day.
Studies show exercise and service are the two fillers that give you the best return for your energy expenditure. Do nice things for people, and move your body! Simple and powerful!
If you find your drains ( stressors) are feeling really big and overwhelming, try writing them down.
Divide them into two categories:
1-Drains you can do something about.
2-Drains you have no control over.
Slowly, by patching up the drains you can patch up, and balancing the drains with your resources, you WILL make progress in your personal reservoir and to your relationships. It’s hard, but worth it.
Bonus tip* A coach makes all the difference in helping you be successful. Believe me- I have one, and it works!*